Just Like Home 
Top scientists have discovered a new Earth-like planet that seems to show signs of life. A joint team of sky watchers from the USA, France, Japan, and Fiji have, until now, kept the exact coordinates of the planet a closely guarded secret until they could verify their observations.

"We are all quite excited by this," exclaimed Hidayo Tenge, senior star gazer for the project. "Not only is there an abundant quantity of water, but the size of the planet is, as close as our measurements allow, identical to Earth! Further more, spectral analysis seems to indicate the presence of elements in the atmosphere, such as lead and mercury, that normally only show up in such great quantities if there has been some sort of industrial activity. There is even a significant amount of Peroxyacetyl nitrate."

"We are preparing a series of radio broadcasts that will be beamed in the direction of the new planet," added Martin Kirby, US stellar ponderer. "We hope, in time, to hear a reply from them."

"Anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves," continued Kirby. "We've asked the press here to announce the direction in which the new planet lies. Or is it lay? Let's go with 'lies'. We found this when we pointed the Hubble telescope at x-axis 12.393932, y-axis -30.780718, and z-axis -2.782142."

"No, no ... my colleague meant to say z-axis POSITIVE 2.782142," corrected a tense Benoit Redin, manager for the project.

Kirby went on to insist the z-axis was, indeed, negative, leading Redin to thank the members of the press for attending what he explained was actually a very preliminary briefing and to expect clarified announcements in the near future.

"Light refreshments with beer and wine," mentioned Redin, "are now available in the lobby."

"Lots of beer and wine," he added, after a pause.

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